Is Showing Empathy The Same As Condoning Behavior?
We find out in EP. 32 of Split. The After Ever After Podcast with dispute resolution expert Bill Eddy!
Bill Eddy is THE expert on all things dispute resolution. A prolific author, speaker, and professor, Mr. Eddy has been a strong voice in this world for more than 30 years.
Bill Eddy is known for his practical, straightforward approach to resolving conflict. His books always include lots of detailed examples of high conflict dialogue and what to do instead. He has a true gift for describing those familiar causes of conflict and how we can expertly work through them.
Jennifer and I were so pleased to speak to him in this episode about his latest book, "Calming Upset People with EAR: How Statements Showing Empathy, Attention, and Respect Can Quickly Defuse a Conflict." Bill explains how he came to use "EAR Statements" and why they're so helpful. He also offers many examples of how you can use these in your life.
Jennifer Sanders: You talk about in the book that, that empathy piece, that E piece, because I feel like in mediations, that's where sometimes people struggle.
They feel like by showing any sort of empathy, they're showing weakness on their part, or they're condoning the behavior of the other person.
Bill Eddy: And generally that's, that's a mistaken impression, because I like to say that empathy, attention, and respect are all free.
That you don't give up anything, and they don't cost you anything.
So you can go ahead and say that to somebody and it doesn't mean you're agreeing. It doesn't mean you're going to do anything.
It means you're connecting as human beings who want to solve a problem.
And the way our brains work, it really calms the brain to get empathy, attention, and respect, so that we can shift over to problem solving.
Away from defending and staying stuck.
_____ Best-selling author, therapist, and lawyer Bill Eddy talks about how empathy doesn't cost you anything on the Split. After Ever After podcast.